Norsk merknad: Jeg har hatt datatrøbbel og fikk ikke lagt inn den norske versjonen. Den kommer etter hvert.
The book "Knowing Woman" by Irene de Castillejo was one of my first detanglers and crap removers.
Here are some of her thoughts on support:
"The first step is to disentangle ourselves and our personal wishes from the problem and, having done so, become as conscious as possible of where we ourselves stand. Then we may provide a fixed point of reference, a post as it were stuck firmly into the sand around which a rope can be thrown from the little barques being tossed helplessly by waves of emotion. If several friends can offer firm posts, though the posts may stand for different points of view, they may yet provide some strength and stability which will help the storm tossed people to find their own solution. Not our solution, theirs."
The bit about "become as conscious as possible of where we ourselves stand" is immensely important!