Edited January 10, 2015:
I will be writing about "what happened to Alice Miller?" later. And what happened to others. How do some brave pioneers of mental help thinking get stuck in frames of one-stop solutions?
With her theories, Alice Miller literally has changed my life for the better. The sentences in this Wikiquote link, amongst others, showed me what I could do to identify and repair my mental wounds ... and that is another story.
A couple of years ago I reread her older books - and read her latest books - with a growing feeling of unease that first started niggling when I read "Open Letters" on her website.
Here is some information that confirms the unease:
Martin Miller's book about his mother Alice
by Caroline Fetscher
by Barbara Rogers
a response to Alice Miller
by Barbara Rogers
And then we get to a place into which I cannot follow Mackler:
So your point is?
To take Alice Miller’s point of view to its logical conclusion, and not be blinded by her limitations. Some of the points I stress, and feel she would have stressed had she been less limited, are as follows:
- Don’t have kids until you’ve done all your inner homework.
- The only way to avoid replicating your unresolved traumas on children is to heal all these traumas fully before you have kids.
- Having children before you have completely healed your childhood traumas is a set-up for child abuse. It’s inevitable. And it’s wrong.
Is it even possible to have done all one's inner homework and be "completely healed"? In the same way that I don't consider trauma a mental illness, I see myself in an unending process of self-insight and liberation that is a part of my life and will continue until I die ... a process that could also be helpful to many who identify with "mentally healthy".
And I have been a part of a process of giving children a better life than parents had: My children are giving their kids more respect and freedom than I was able to give them, I could give them more than my parents gave me, and my parents gave us more than they were given ... so there has been a gradual liberation from the generational chain of harm.