Friday, 14 February 2014


 A friend used to phone once in a while and ask me to «Please say the wonderful word".

And I would say the wonderful word:


And we would both be silent for a moment, 
basking in the wonder of this word, this concept: 


When we are secure in the centre of our own world, 
it is natural to let others be the centre of their world. 

Where else is there to be?

Other than in the centre of our world?

People can be outside themselves. Beside themselves.

Maybe in a self-ish place, an invasive place, where they displace others from their rightful spot in the centre of their own world.

They can also be in a self-less place ... in constant displacement from the centre of their own world.

And I am more frightened of people who strive to be self-less than of people who push into my space.

Because ... because it's relatively easy to notice when someone is actively pushing.

As for people who aspire to self-lessness ... they're like a mother-in-law someone described once: "She is so invisible that I keep bumping into her all the time."

I can set clear borders to protect against open invasions and self-ish behaviour. I have never really managed that when met with self-less-ness. 

The Logic of Nice gets in the way and hears "You are a horrible person" when I say "Please to remove posterior from the breathing". (Brownie points if you know where this quote comes from.)

But I'd rather be seen as Bad than have someone’s posterior in my breathing. 

I prefer to breathe freely. 

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