Words are important. They can be used to clarify, and they can be abused to confuse, mystify, divert.
I've been thinking a lot about "sexual abuse" of children. The word "abuse" seems to imply that it's OK to use children sexually, if done in the right way, whatever that may be.
I have rejected the word "abuse" in this context. From now on I'm going to use "use".
no it doesn't
ReplyDeleteit implies the abuse is not verbal (telling a child they are worthless or unloved)
and its not physical (beating the child using open hands, or closed fists, or with a impliment (a wooden spoon or coat hanger)
humans are sexual--and some behaviors are normal (many children normally masterbate) this is not sexual abuse.
sexual abuse is an adult having a non consentual sexual relations ship with a child.
Children can not consent- they are complient--because they are supposed to obey adults.
Children are physically hurt by many sexual acts.
Children are confused and frightened and do not have the emotional understanding.
Adult who use their power to force a child to engage in sexual relations/contact are abusing them.
(parent who give their children sexual knowledge --names of body parts, explainations of bodily function, difference in anatomy (especially if the family has both boys and girls) are not abuse children)
but any adult (parent, other relatives, friends of the family, family associated, or stranger) who look at, touches or takes or shows photographs (at the least end) or engage in sexual acts (cunnilingus, filatio, intercourse, sodomy (anal intercourse) or other acts of penatration (at the far end) are abusing children.
I have no idea who /what is going on in your family life/with friends but DO NOT NEGATE the damage by pretending it is not abuse.
The child is powerless. the adult is wrong.
lets not pretend it not abuse. forget the word games.
Chances are the child has been emotional abused (and told if they talk about the sexual relationship, some thing bad will happen and it will be the CHILD fault.
chances are they have been physically abused (childrens bodies are torn and hurt by adult sexual encounters.
and on top of that they have been sexual abused.
IT ABUSE--pure and simple
Oftroy, I'm sorry for being unclear - I have chosen the word "use" because in my POV children are NEVER to be "used" by others, IN ANY WAY AT ALL! So using kids is wrong.
ReplyDeleteAnd in my mind, the word "abuse" seems to mean that it is OK to "use" kids.
Kids are not utensils that can be "used" or "abused", like I can abuse a silver ladle by hammering a nail with it - children are living entities, born with dignity and integrity, and with the right to have their dignity and integrity protected by the adults around them.
So I am totally against USING children in any way at all - using them sexually, using them by unleashing physical or verbal violence on them, using them by manipulating them, using them as objects of wish fulfilment ... or as objects of addiction, as is so painfully described in "Terrorhood", which deserves a separate post.
I have a feeling that we are in complete agreement, except that the prefix "ab" makes me sick.
What do you think?